


Honey

by mitchmatthews



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: But it’s not nearly as bad/dark as it sounds haha :), Calgary Flames AU, Dark fic, Homophobic Language, JT is so in love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Possessive Behaviour, Shotguns, This is meant to highlight homophobia and sexism in sports, Tyson adores JT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-03-09 22:59:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18926704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitchmatthews/pseuds/mitchmatthews
Summary: JT presses the cold barrel of a shotgun against someone else’s head. Scared, big blue eyes stare up at him.“P-Please don’t,” a strangled voice begs. JT breathes in, out, and then he squeezes the trigger.This is how he got there.





	Honey

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't exactly the most romantic fic I've ever written... but I hope you enjoy it. I wrote this for an assignment, where we were supposed to explore some darker themes. I chose to write about homophobia/sexism in sports and manipulation.
> 
> Leave a kudos/comment and find me on tumblr @boringdrouin !!

JT presses the cold barrel of a shotgun against someone else’s head. Scared, big blue eyes stare up at him.

 

“P-Please don’t,” a strangled voice begs. JT breathes in, out, and then he squeezes the trigger.

 

This is how he got there.

 

*****

 

The Calgary Flames lose more games in the NHL than they win and Tyson takes every loss personally. He should have skated faster, he should have passed to JT more. JT always scores. He’s a more reliable forward than Tyson is. He doesn’t have to look for the puck to glide off his stick and go bar-down. JT is naturally talented and Tyson resents him for it. Tyson adores his best friend; it just annoys him to hear how easy JT’s path to the NHL was because Tyson had to fight his way to the top. Tyson resents JT, but not nearly as much as he loves the guy. He’s a really great teammate and roommate.

 

JT pushes him into the boards during practice. Tyson gets his revenge by hiding JT’s keys while everyone is in the showers.

 

“I can’t find my keys!” JT shouts in the changeroom.

 

Tyson lets JT suffer long enough for him to get changed into his street clothes. He jingles the keys around until JT turns, eyes wide in surprise.

 

“You had them!”

 

“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t leave without me,” Tyson lies. He’s giggling and JT gives him a fond little smile.

 

“Well c’mon, let’s go. I’m starving. Let’s get sushi.”

 

Tyson nods in agreement and they head out together. In the car, JT grins at him again. He has the type of smile that draws people in and makes them want to listen, even if he doesn’t show it off very often. It’s a smile that Tyson’s slowly falling in love with.

 

They sit across from each other in a booth at the restaurant. JT orders Tyson’s favourite sushi. It’s a mouth-watering combination of mango, avocado, and yam. The sushi arrives and Tyson immediately reaches for his roll.

 

*****

Tyson shoves the whole piece of sushi in his mouth and JT snorts at him. His cheeks puff out like a chipmunk, all stuffed full of rice. He smiles brightly at JT and a mix of mango juice and soya sauce drips down his chin. There’s a grain of rice stuck to his upper lip and his brown eyes are shining happily. It’s an incredibly gross mess, but somehow, Tyson is still the most beautiful person JT has ever seen.

 

*****

 

JT’s knee has been bothering him for the last few days. On his way to see a trainer, he cuts through the rink. Clare is waiting for him in the medical room and she greets him with a smile that she probably knows he won’t return. JT only really lights up around Tyson.

 

“It’s your knee, right?” She asks, instead of a hello. He nods and they talk while she guides him through different stretches.

 

“My brother came to town for Christmas. It was good to catch up,” she says.

 

“How’s he doing?”

 

“You know how boys are. He’s more worried about chasing girls than finishing grade twelve.”

 

“The boy’s got his priorities straight,” JT says. It takes Clare a few seconds to laugh. He tends to deliver every line in the same monotone voice, whether it’s a joke or not.

 

“Are _you_ seeing anyone, JT?”

 

“No. The guys are still making fun of me because I didn’t have a date for the Christmas party.”

 

“Hey, being single is alright, too. Bend your knee, please.”

 

“Yeah, but I’ll never hear the end of it if I attend the gala next month alone.”

 

JT knows what’s expected of him. Having a trophy wife is somehow more valued in the NHL than what the player himself actually wants. JT doesn’t want a wife. He doesn’t want a girlfriend. He wants Tyson.

 

Clare smiles. “I’m sure there are lots of girls who would love to spend an evening with you.”

 

“I should take you,” JT says, without thinking.

 

He doesn’t mean it romantically, but the way Clare freezes means she’s misunderstood him. She looks up at him and drops her hand away from his knee. The look in her eyes makes JT wonder how many men have hit on her while she was trying to do her job.

 

“You know I have a girlfriend, right?” She replies quietly. JT’s gut twists.

 

“I know, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry. I just thought it would be fun to go with a friend.”

 

Clare nods, but she doesn’t speak for the rest of the session. JT wonders how many advances she has received, only to lower her eyes and stay quiet. Who would believe her? They’d say she was just looking for attention, looking for a big payout from a harassment lawsuit. The NHL is a man’s world. It doesn’t matter how much the league declares it’s inclusivity. There might not be many sexist slurs on the ice, but JT knows fair well that silence can be just as harmful.

Clare stops him before he leaves. “I’ll go with you to the gala, JT. As friends.”

 

JT is in love with his teammate. He has to explain that he only wants her friendship.

 

“I’m gay,” is what he whispers instead. It’s the first time he’s ever said it out loud. It’s the first time he’s ever told anyone.

 

Clare’s eyes go wide, and JT knows she understands the weight of what he’s told her. There are over seven-hundred active NHL players and not a single one of them, now or in the past, has ever come out as gay. Clare grabs his hand and holds it in both of hers. Her big, blue eyes stare up at him earnestly.

 

“You’re so brave, JT.” JT doesn’t realize he’s crying until a few tears drip from his chin.

 

“I don’t feel brave. I feel alone.”

 

*****

 

Tyson rides to the gala in the front seat of JT’s car. He has his license but he hates driving at night. JT doesn’t mind because it means he gets to watch Tyson fiddle with the radio, humming along to the music.

 

They’re almost there when a squirrel runs onto the road. There’s a car behind JT so he doesn’t want to slam on the brakes or swerve. The car hits the animal with a loud splat. Tyson gasps.

 

“Holy crap!” He exclaims.

 

JT shrugs. “It’s just an animal, don’t worry.”

 

Tyson gives him a stunned look. “The poor thing died,” he protests. JT just shrugs again.

 

“Whatever.” It was just a squirrel. Its life was insignificant.

 

Tyson’s weirdly quiet for the rest of the drive, but Clare is waiting for them when they arrive. She’s wearing a purple dress.

 

“Ready?” JT asks, offering her his arm. She takes it and Tyson follows beside them into the venue.

The event is boring, even with Tyson and Clare at his side. They take pictures with season-ticket holders and drink from crystal flutes. None of JT’s teammates say anything about his date until Clare excuses herself to the bathroom. A left winger, Cam, approaches JT at the buffet table. He leans in close and whispers in JT’s ear.

 

“You know, your date doesn’t count if she’s a dyke.”

 

He flinches and gives Cam a surprised look. “She’s not a dyke.”

 

“Doesn’t she have a girlfriend? Why are you trying to date a lesbian?”

 

JT’s cheeks burn with embarrassment. He should explain that they’re just friends, but his pride takes over. “She’s not gay, she’s _my_ date.”

 

Clare appears beside them.

 

“Who’s not gay? Because you all know I am happily engaged to my _girlfriend_.” JT’s heart plummets into his stomach. Cam is going to tell their teammates about this.

 

Cam chuckles. “Wow, JT, you’re really desperate enough to lie about dating a lesbian?”

 

“I’m not desperate!” JT shouts. “I wouldn’t date her, like you said, she’s a fucking dyke!”

 

The way Clare’s eyes widen, the way her lips tremble, makes JT wish he could take it back.

 

“EXCUSE ME!” She shouts. The only people close enough to hear are a few of their teammates, thank god. “If I’m a dyke than what are _you_ , huh? Look in the mirror, JT! You’re just like me!”

 

Her chest is heaving angrily and she shoots him one last nasty look before turning on her heel and storming out. JT stares after her, scared to face his teammates. Someone pokes his shoulder.

 

“JT?” Tyson asks gently. “I think we should go.” JT knocks Tyson’s hand off his shoulder, but Tyson just wraps his hand around JT’s wrist and tugs. “C’mon,” he urges. JT feels exposed, like he’s standing naked centre-ice. He lets Tyson pull him down the hall and out of the venue. In the car, JT feels an awful pressure building in his chest.

 

“I-I’m not gay,” he whispers. “It’s the NHL… I can’t be...” Tyson doesn’t answer, but part way home he rests a careful hand over JT’s on the stick-shift. They sit in the driveway, looking at each other warily.

 

“You know you’re still my best friend, right?” Tyson mumbles. His pretty brown eyes are worried. JT thinks of all the times he’s caught those eyes watching him.

 

“Do you love me, Tys?”

 

Tyson looks confused and his cheeks fill with colour. “Of course, you _are_ my best friend.”

 

“But would you do anything for me?”

 

Tyson frowns and looks away. “Yes.”

 

“Would you kill for me?”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“Well, would you?”

 

“...Yes.”

 

*****

 

It’s nearly impossible for JT to make himself go to practice the next day. He doesn’t want to face his teammates after being outed, but he _really_ doesn’t want to lose his spot on the Flamesㅡif he isn’t scratched for being gay.

 

Tyson manages to tempt him into the car with coffee. If such a personal part of him had to be exposed like this, he’s grateful Tyson is still his best friend.

 

They get to the arena and JT can see a group of custodians by the front entrance, but he’s too distracted by his phone to see what they’re gathered around. They park and walk towards the doors. JT’s still buried in his phone, so it surprises him when Tyson suddenly stops, grabs his arm and spins him away from the building.

 

“Nevermind, I don’t want to go!” Tyson exclaims. He pulls JT towards the car, but JT frowns and turns back to the building. He sees why the custodians are there. The doors have been vandalized with graffiti. It’s just one word. Three letters. It could be directed at anyone, but he and Tyson both know it was painted there for JT.

 

**FAG.**

 

JT stares at it for a few seconds. Tries not to let it bother him. Then he walks past the workers and through the defaced doors. He ignores Tyson calling after him and heads straight to the trainers' room. Clare is there when he walks in.

 

“You’re a terrible fucking person,” he spits at her. She looks up in surprise.

 

“ _Me?!_ ” She scoffs. “What about _you_?!”

 

“I called you a dyke. You outed me to my teammates!” JT shouts. “Those are two very different things! I could lose my job!”

 

“I only said it ‘cause I was mad.”

 

“I don’t care, Clare! My team knows, the arena was vandalized, what else is gonna happen?! If word gets out, _millions_ of fans could know!”

 

She stares at him. JT takes a deep breath and sighs, dejected. “I didn’t want anyone to know. Now the entire league might know.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You think sorry can fix this? All I’m ever gonna be known for is being gay. ‘First gay player wins the Cup. First gay player breaks assist record.’”

 

Clare’s shoulders slump. “I am really sorry, JT. I wish I could take it back.”

 

“Whatever, it’s not your fault. It’s the league’s fault for hiring a stupid, good-for-nothing _little girl_.”

 

JT kicks a nearby chair hard enough that it almost hits her. It crashes loudly to the ground. He sees the horrified look in her eyes all the way down the hall and into the locker room, but he doesn’t care. His teammate, John, stands up when he walks in.

 

“JT! I heard you’re a queer now!”

 

Captain smacks John over the head. “What he means is, we talked to management and they’re gonna handle the graffiti, and no one outside of our team will find out!”

 

JT gives them both a blank look. “Um, cool, but I don’t care because I’m not actually gay!”

 

John sighs in relief. “Oh, sick,” he laughs. Captain smacks his head again.

 

“I’d like to keep this uh, rumour, within the Flames, okay?” JT grumbles. “Because it’s just a rumour. I’m obviously straight.”

 

His lies don’t seem to convince anyone, other than John. JT pretends not to notice the whispering or the way some of the guys cover up more than usual in the locker room. None of them say anything else about it, and maybe JT should be relieved, but it just puts him on edge. He would rather hear their thoughts, no matter how terrible, than sit here in silence any longer.

 

In the evening they have a home game. The half-hour warm-up is more than enough time for evasive ideas to creep up on JT. He hates the way his team is tip-toeing around as if he’s a land mine. Anger—mostly towards Clare—starts to burn deep in his belly. He wants to get back at her for what she’s done.

 

They beat Toronto 2-0. Maybe it’s the adrenaline from winning, maybe he’s still feeling light from the hug Tyson gave him after he scored. But when Clare finds him and asks to talk after the game, he agrees without hesitation. He and Tyson wait for her in the car.

 

Tyson’s knee bounces anxiously. “You sure you wanna hang out with her after everything?”

 

“Yeah. Remember when you said you’d kill for me?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“You meant it, right?”

 

“Metaphorically… is something wrong?”

 

“What, you don’t love me enough to kill?”

 

“You’re my best friend, JT. If something’s going on, you can tell me.”

 

“Nothing’s going on! I’m just confused. Yesterday you said you love me but now you won’t even do me this favour.”

 

“What favour? What are you talking about?” Tyson’s face is furrowing with frustration.

 

“Listen, Tyson, honey, you know I love you. I need you to do this with me.”

 

JT sees Clare approaching the car. “She’s coming. Just play along.”

 

Tyson’s looking at him like he’s crazy. He’s not. He just worked so hard to get to the NHL, got so good at hiding his feelings, at pretending to be someone he’s not; he can’t lose everything now. If Clare can’t keep her mouth shut, he’ll find a way to make her.

 

Clare climbs into the backseat. JT turns and smiles at her while he hits the locks and puts the child-safety on.

 

“Hey! Tyson’s family lives nearby, so we’re just gonna go stop by and say hello.”

 

“Okay,” she smiles back. She’s so clueless it sends chills down JT’s spine. Tyson’s gone white in the passenger’s seat.

 

JT pulls out of the parking lot and heads towards Tyson’s house. They drive in silence for a few minutes.

 

“I know we already talked, but I hope you know how sorry I am,” Clare says. “What I did was awful and I hope there’s some way for me to make it up to you.”

 

JT grins at her in the rear-view. “Oh, don’t worry! One of my teammates spray painted the word fag on the doors at the arena earlier today, but you know, it’s no big deal!”

 

She grimaces. “I think most people would be accepting.”

 

“Oh, I don’t know,” JT chuckles. “The average hockey fan is a middle-aged white man. Middle-aged white men are the worst! Sexist, racist, homophobic. Luckily for you, I’m not sexist at all. I’d never hurt a girl!”

 

Tyson clears his throat. “JT, doㅡ”

 

“Almost there, sweetheart!” JT interrupts, reaching over to pat Tyson’s knee. Tyson moves slowly, eyeing him carefully as if he’s a feral animal, and places his hand on JT’s.

 

“O-okay,” He agrees. He smiles nervously, but his eyes are sweet in a way that gives JT butterflies. JT squeezes Tyson’s hand, and he’d probably kiss him if he wasn’t busy driving.

 

They arrive at Tyson’s house. There aren’t any lights on. The house backs onto acres of green: rolling hills, dark forest and loud rivers. It’s the perfect place.

 

“I don’t think my parents are home,” Tyson mumbles.

 

JT shrugs. “No worries! You guys stay here, I’ll go knock on the door and check.”

 

Tyson and Clare stay put as he gets out, but the child safety is still on. They couldn’t escape even if they tried.

 

JT doesn’t go to the house. Instead, he walks around to the back of his car, pops the trunk and takes out a double-barrel shotgun. He digs through his coat pocket for a shell and then loads it. Clare’s facing forwards so she doesn’t see, but Tyson has twisted around in his seat, eyes wide in horror. JT closes the trunk and heads over to Tyson’s door. He opens it and beckons him out with a gentle smile.

 

“C’mon, honey.” Tyson moves gingerly but follows him out. Clare suddenly gasps and bangs on the window. She must see the gun.

 

“Don’t worry!” JT exclaims. “I’m coming for you, too!”

 

“Where… where did you even get that?” Tyson whispers.

 

“I’ve had it for a while. Hunting, ya know.”

 

Tyson shakes his head. “You don’t hunt.”

 

JT shrugs and yanks Clare’s door open. She scrambles out and tries to make a run for it. JT trips her easily and she falls to the ground with a thud.

 

“No!” She screams. “Please, don’t!”

 

Tyson stands there, motionless. He’s a great accomplice.

 

JT points the shotgun at Clare. “Get on your knees.”

 

Her body is trembling as she sits up. JT nods in approval.

 

“I’m sorry I have to do this, but you’re the only one who knows I really am gay. The boys believe me when I say I’m straight. I can’t have you running around ruining this for me.”

 

Clare points a shaky finger at Tyson. “H-he knows, too!”

 

JT gives Tyson a sweet smile. “Don’t worry, he won’t tell anyone. We love each other, right Tyson?”

 

Tyson doesn’t answer. JT points the gun at him.

 

“O-o-of course! I love you so much, JT.” He sounds so earnest, it makes JT’s stomach flutter. He slowly lowers the shotgun.

 

“How long have you felt this way?”

 

Tyson flushes and looks down. “I don’t know… a few weeks maybe...”

 

JT smiles. “I love you too, honey,” he says. He turns back to Clare.

 

He presses the cold barrel of the gun to Clare’s forehead. Her big, blue eyes are watery as she stares up at him.

 

“P-Please don’t,” she whimpers. The fear in her voice sends a thrilling chill down JT’s back.

 

He breathes in, out, shifts the barrel to aim past her head, and then he squeezes the trigger. The shot rings out loudly, and Clare collapses to the ground a second after the slug lodges itself in the mud.

 

JT steps on Clare’s back. She’s hyperventilating so badly it shakes his body.

 

“Did I scare you?!” he bellows. “Did you think your life was gonna end?!”

 

She sobs and nods vigorously. A sour smell hits JT’s nose. She’s wet herself.

 

“THAT’S HOW YOU MADE ME FEEL, CLARE! THAT’S HOW SCARED I FEEL!”

 

“Y-you can’t just do that,” She whimpers. JT pushes his foot down onto her.

 

“Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do about it? I know you, Clare. You don’t report anything.”

 

Clare doesn’t answer. JT turns to Tyson, who’s gone as pale as a ghost. He looks like he’s about to vomit.

 

“Aw, honey. You have nothing left to worry about. I’ve scared her straight, she won’t tell anyone. We can be together.”  

 

Tyson nods slowly, reaching his hand out. “Can I see the gun?”

 

JT chuckles and grabs his hand. “Let’s just go, baby. Clare can find her own way back to the hotel.”

 

JT leads his new boyfriend back to the car and climbs into the driver’s seat. He tosses the gun into the backseat and drives them through town to their house. JT leans in to kiss him goodnight, but Tyson pushes him away with red cheeks.

 

“Um, sorry, JT. Can we just take it slow?”

 

JT nods and takes his hand. “Of course, Baby.”

 

“I… I think we should just wait until after the summer to date.”

 

JT frowns. “But that's months away.”

 

“I know, but the season is almost over…”

 

“I can visit you in the summer.”

 

“I’d just be more comfortable if we waited until after the summer…”

 

JT sighs and squeezes Tyson’s hand. “Okay. For you, I’ll wait.”

 

“Thanks. Goodnight, JT.”

 

“Night, honey.”

 

*****

 

The season ends when the Flames are eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. JT touches down at the airport closest to home. He’s excited to spend the summer with his family.

 

He pulls out his phone to text his mother that he’s landed when he sees the notification from the NHL app.

 

_NHL: Flames forward Tyson Jost’s request for a trade has been granted. Jost will report to the Wild in September._

 

JT’s heart plummets through his stomach. He tries to text Tyson, but the message won’t send.

 

His number has been blocked.

 

END

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think. No hate. I warned you in the tags it wasn't gonna be rainbows and sunshine. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, I love you all!! 
> 
> Tumblr @boringdrouin


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